RUBBER STAMPS I WISH I HAD FOR GRADING FRESHMAN COMPOSITION PAPERS

Check out the original and tons of other hilarious writing here.

 

RUBBER STAMPS
I WISH I HAD
FOR GRADING
FRESHMAN
COMPOSITION
PAPERS.
BY KATHERINE PERRY
– – – –

  1. RUN-ON
  2. DANGLING MODIFIER
  3. WTF?
  4. TRANSITION?
  5. I CAN’T TELL IF YOU’RE REALLY BAD AT THIS OR JUST NOT TRYING AND AM THEREFORE UNABLE TO MAKE CONCRETE STATEMENTS ABOUT YOUR ESSAY AT THIS TIME.
  6. “ESCALADE” IS A KIND OF VEHICLE; DO YOU MEAN “ESCALATE”?
  7. THIS IS AN INTERESTING OVERVIEW OF YOUR TAKE ON ZOMBIES/VAMPIRES/LEGALIZATION OF MARIJUANA, BUT IT HAS LITTLE TO DO WITH THE ASSIGNMENT. PLEASE GO OVER THE HANDOUT AND LET ME KNOW IF YOU HAVE ANY QUESTIONS. I WOULD ALSO LIKE TO POINT OUT THAT DESPITE THE FACT YOU WERE TEXTING FRANTICALLY UNDER THE TABLE AND MAKING LEWD GESTURES WHEN I EXPLAINED SAID HANDOUT IN CLASS TELLS ME IT’S A WASTE OF MY TIME TO READ OR THINK ABOUT YOUR ESSAY AT ALL (LET ALONE FOR HALF AN HOUR ON A SATURDAY NIGHT ON WHICH YOU ARE CERTAINLY HAVING MORE FUN THAN I AM), I HAVE GONE AHEAD AND MADE CAREFUL COMMENTS ANYWAY, WHICH MAKES ME HATE MYSELF A LITTLE, WHICH YOU WILL SEE REFLECTED IN YOUR PARTICIPATION GRADE AT THE END OF THE TERM.
  8. THAT’S WHAT SHE SAID.