March 19th, 2011
RUBBER STAMPS I WISH I HAD FOR GRADING FRESHMAN COMPOSITION PAPERS

Check out the original and tons of other hilarious writing here.

RUBBER STAMPS
I WISH I HAD
FOR GRADING
FRESHMAN
COMPOSITION
PAPERS.
BY KATHERINE PERRY
- RUN-ON
- DANGLING MODIFIER
- WTF?
- TRANSITION?
- I CAN’T TELL IF YOU’RE REALLY BAD AT THIS OR JUST NOT TRYING AND AM THEREFORE UNABLE TO MAKE CONCRETE STATEMENTS ABOUT YOUR ESSAY AT THIS TIME.
- “ESCALADE” IS A KIND OF VEHICLE; DO YOU MEAN “ESCALATE”?
- THIS IS AN INTERESTING OVERVIEW OF YOUR TAKE ON ZOMBIES/VAMPIRES/LEGALIZATION OF MARIJUANA, BUT IT HAS LITTLE TO DO WITH THE ASSIGNMENT. PLEASE GO OVER THE HANDOUT AND LET ME KNOW IF YOU HAVE ANY QUESTIONS. I WOULD ALSO LIKE TO POINT OUT THAT DESPITE THE FACT YOU WERE TEXTING FRANTICALLY UNDER THE TABLE AND MAKING LEWD GESTURES WHEN I EXPLAINED SAID HANDOUT IN CLASS TELLS ME IT’S A WASTE OF MY TIME TO READ OR THINK ABOUT YOUR ESSAY AT ALL (LET ALONE FOR HALF AN HOUR ON A SATURDAY NIGHT ON WHICH YOU ARE CERTAINLY HAVING MORE FUN THAN I AM), I HAVE GONE AHEAD AND MADE CAREFUL COMMENTS ANYWAY, WHICH MAKES ME HATE MYSELF A LITTLE, WHICH YOU WILL SEE REFLECTED IN YOUR PARTICIPATION GRADE AT THE END OF THE TERM.
- THAT’S WHAT SHE SAID.
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